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STUPID VICE MAGAZINE

I have stopped reading VICE mag. Oficcially.

It always causes arguments and questions and debates etc. Even when I try and keep it in the toilet someone will come out saying "have you seen this?"

Anyway I caught up with melborne mikey for a lobster or two over in bali (our fave restaraunt is there) and he told me that he had SECRET plans and that VICE was not doing well but NICE mag was about to launch and it is going - to - go - OFF - bigtime. Heavily backed by JEM TV ( MTVs sister company) its going to be big big big . BIG. I wish I HAD BIGGER CAPITOLS.

Any way dont eat raw 2 minute noodles after midnight ( msg keeps you awake ) --

Im still reading VICE for now.

NICE mag out soon tho

from the girl on your desktopxx

totally hectic bro.........what a day

Whoa man - what a day- first of all my girl came up to me --------

" Hey i found my hand cream next to your laptop" she says

"so? - i was using it - I whacked off three times this morning babe"

"What!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dickhead thats a fucken $50 tube of cream !!!""

whoops!!!

She storms off ---- but hey its cheaper than taking her out for dinner and stuff like that..(shes an expensive one)

Anyway as everyone knows Pharrell is in town and I caught up with him for a tea ( he doesnt drink much) and he gave me an awesome tip on a race horse ... hes all hooked up with these shiek prince dudes in dubai (wherever he gets his lamborghinis from ) and he ows some horse --- blah blah I kinda lost track because I was nailing the hotel ta and was blind by then,..

So - Pharrells horse from dubai and fifty dollar hand plus Im off to see N+E+R+D play if I can find my way from backstage..( i actually got asked to play drums but the drummer found out) SEE YAALLL SOON

Johnny ramone came to me in a dream and said

hey

ho lets

go

back to sleep

xxxxxxx detchieoooooo

SCAAAAARY MUSIC

The other day a friend of mine came to pick me up to go and look at this house he was buying . At first I thought he was showing off but then I realised he was secretly hoping for approval from me because his girlfriend made him buy it .... Poor guy.. Anyway when we got in the car the CD playing was this weird churchy type singing with cheesy synthesiser beats and stuff (not cool synths like ELO or what have you) .

'What is this ??" I was obviously in shock.

"MAn its cool it grows on you after a while .. its heaps relaxing in all the traffic you know,"

--- I let it go because it IS his car I guess..

But subliminally it made me hungy for cheesburgers and fries -- thats when I realised the connection.

McDonalds pay off the church to allow them to put subliminal advertising in their hymns - so thereby brainwashing the masses and hence making a fortune for Ronald ! Now that is sneaky...

It proably also explains why alot of kids that go to Catholic schools are obese , thats a gross generalisation, but a funny one ..

Anyway just steer clear of any church organ pipes and hymns etc and youll be fine!!

The house was pretty cool though , it had a gargoyle. Rare nowadays.

From The Pope of the holy cheesburger.